Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8 A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22] I want it to be on record that I wll record my record.

Who Reads What and Why

Who reads what and why:
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could find the time, and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. None of these are read by the guy who is running the country.

H/T: Robbie

Get a First Life

Get a First Life: A One Page Satire of Second Life

This is Hilarious. For those who don’t get the joke, Second Life is a Stephensonesque virtual world where people go to create a second personality. I don’t see it any different that hanging out with friends at a pub/mall/racetrack – Its just another venue for socializing. Some people do take it a bit far.

That said, Western culture has moved from the industrial age to the information age and from manufacturing to intellectual property. I think its perfectly reasonable for someone to create a fulfilling career inside a game like Second Life. Musicians, artists and movie producers are obvious examples, but it applies to engineering related pursuits too. I can write software as Moldar the Magnificent* just as easily as Chris Farris, and lets face is Moldar is a cooler name.

In one of my recent “I hate my job and what I do moments” I decided it would be fun to become a Central Banker in World of Warcraft. Several Massive Multiplayer Online Games (MMORPGs) had run into issues where either too much gold is in the system that they experience currency devaluation (think Wiemar Germany) or they make it too easy to create value (if you’re a geek think magic items) and suffer massive inflation. In a digital world a simple sql statement can double the amount of precious metal. A way is needed to maintain a robust economy while adjusting for changes in population (aka subscribers). This becomes even more important in games like Second Life where the user base wants to be able to exchange in-game currency for real dollars/euros/yen.

Finally, Kudos to Second Life creator Linden Labs for not going nuts over the parody site. See their response.

* Not my Second Life persona. I don’t have a second life persona. Hell I barely have a first life persona.